The dilemma is this. If sex equals intimacy, then how does one go about being intimate if one is not having sex? Furthermore, if sex is a cornerstone of a “good” marriage (I use the term with tongue fully inserted in cheek) then where does that leave Art and I? I mean, we will probably not have sex for another 2 - 3 months. If you add those days with the days of this treatment plus the days before the diagnosis (cause it was a good month that he was not feeling well), the total no-sex days could be over 300!
Let me disclose, it’s not about the physical release part of not having sex. I am good at pleasuring myself. (Oh my!!! Did I just right that? Heavens!
I have become his caregiver of his life, a dictator of sorts, furthering the distance between us. I mean who wants to be intimate with the person who is always asking “Did you take your pills? Are you constipated again?” Those questions have formed a see through wall where we can pretend that we know each other.
Hmmm, when this is done, we will have to date again. I think it’ll be fun. I don’t know. should I go “all the way” on our first date?