These are the words we heard:
CANCER activity still present BUT the little left over nodules are shrinking.
B C N U, B C N U – nope, not a team playing in March Madness. BCNU is one of the drugs they gave Art during the stem cell transplant. And guess what one of the side effects is? Yup, forming scar tissue in the lungs! Hell ya! Rah, rah for BCNU.
BRONCHOSCOPY. It’s such a fun word to say. Bronchoscopy, Bronchoscopy. So what that it means they stick a tube down your nose (or mouth), “through your smaller air passages” into your lungs and take this little brush and twirl it to get a sample of the tissue. Who cares that it will done to Art tomorrow at 2:00 pm (incase you happen to glance at your watch, complaining about your day).
PREDNISONE --- lots and lots of prednisone. Agitation, diabetes, osteoporosis, not able to sleep? What’s important are the mood changes (cause things aren’t dodgy enough around here) and he will start eating!
These are the words I choose to focus on:
So yeah, things have changed again. HOWEVER, those pesky little fuckers are shrinking. He is ALIVE, even if I don’t recognize that it’s him. ONE FUCKING DAY AT A TIME. ONE DAY AT A TIME. One day at a time. One day at a time.