They told me to bring the kids in. They told me to bring the kids in. It’s over and I, I, I just ….
The hardest part about this... No wait, the right now hardest part about this is watching them grieve. My heart is in shards, little sharp deadly pieces.
Doctors and then Dr. Lill, Art’s doctor, comes in. He used the word
die.Finally SOMEONE used that word!
Death, even in a hospital is whispered, in euphemisms – passed, gone, left, not there. None of those words speaks the truth. My husband is going to die.
And when he does, he will be DEAD. Period.
No euphemizing that!
There will be no one to check my spelling. No one to wait for my call, saying I’m on my way home.
Oh God, I don’t want to be one of those single mothers whose kids are out of control!
There is a Sarah McGloughlin song. Only lyrics I can remember are
Hold on to yourself
This is gonna hurt like hell
She’s right. And I know I don’t know what I’m doing.
I stand at this place, knowing I must fall into the gorge. I’ll survive, it’s just right now, I don’t want to go.
Oh shit fuck, shit fuck OW_@+#*(@#*()#*)%n .
I just want to vomit.