Sunday, May 24, 2009

May 23, 2009

We arrived at my cousin’s ranch yesterday.

I drove up with Loretta, a friend from college, after realizing I couldn’t do it myself. I am in no emotional state to drive for 6 ½ hours with the kids.

It’s the first time I have been at the ranch without Art.

It is the first place and time that I actually feel him.


9:30 pm

Nothing can describe the longing.

No words, no actions, no ache.

No words can touch the devastation, the depression or the crushing loneliness.

Nothing can describe it.

So for now I won’t even try.


  1. Anonymous3:07 PM

    The Ranch looks like a beautiful place where healing can take place. I hope you're able to allow everything to just be. Who cares if you can't describe it, you're living it and know it well and deal with whatever feeling comes your way. Here's to strength, courage, and hope during your time at the ranch.
    Julie B.

  2. Anonymous6:31 PM

    Kim-- I am praying for a peacefull weekend for you and the kids-- this looks like a place for escape and rest. I am sure Art is there with you, blessing you and wishing you peace. If I have learned anything from your story is that Art wants you to have peace. God Bless you and the kids.

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