That when friends of the male persuasion come around I want to suck them dry.
It's not lust. It's not sexual. It's like primal.
I am lonely for the adult masculine presence in my house, daily.
I want that male to say those male kind of things like...
"Why don't you just..."
"Huh, really?" and to not expound on every point.
I miss having a man in the house to ask me "Are you OK?" in that wonderful, male way which only men who know you can ask.
And they only ask if they mean it.
And they only ask if your answer to the question can be fixed with a reassuring hug, by running an errand or doing "something."
The men I know talk and laugh and are thoughtful but their view of the world is powerfully different than any woman I know. And I miss that view, those thoughts, that feeling of awe when you meet someone who is like you but so very different.
I miss the sex too. But not in the same way I miss the sure presence of a testosterone carrier.
God...I didn't even know this existed, this masculine need. I didn't know he provided that...balance.
Holy shit...I feel like I'm standing on a lopsided boat!