Saturday, July 04, 2009

July 4, 2009

I am getting ready to

give away Art's clothes.

I want someone to come with me.

I need a witness to the loss, the change,

my independce embraced and hated.

I think also

that is why I witness myself.


  1. This was the hardest part for me when my mom died. Yuck. Donating her clothes and shoes...well, I cried pretty hard as I drove away after dropping them off.
    Also, I'm sure you've done this but keep a few pieces of Arts clothes for the kids. My mom had kept a shirt of my dad's and in meant so much to me when I found it as an adult. Since I didn't know him being able to put on one of his shirts and his jacket helped me feel closer to him. It also gave me a sense of what his physical size would have been in comparison to me.
    I am sorry I am out of town or I would go with...
    Much Love,

  2. Anonymous9:11 PM

    I kept one of my father's shirts after he died. It smelled like him for years. I still have it and sleep in it on hot nights. It amazes me that it no longer comes down to my knees. Each of your kids might want to pick a favorite item to remind them of their dad.


  3. Anonymous9:59 PM

    Kim, remember that if you are not ready, you are not ready. Lori, the Middle School admin assistant kept her first husband's clothes for about a year or more. She told me that it is one of the toughest things you will do. She became a widow like you, but with 2 small children (under 10). What the other folks have said is true: keeping something concrete of their dad is something that cannot be described. My mémé passed on my pépé's bathrobe to my little brother when he hit 16. He wore it until it was tatters. He was a good man, my pepe. Steven needed it.

    hugs to you and the kids,

  4. Took me a year and a half to reach this stage. It took me a day and a half to root through the stuff, and I had someone deliver the bags to the charity shop for me, since I couldn't bear to do it.

    I kept quite a lot of stuff. Now and then I thin that down, and the deep hold that clothes and objects held on me left me quite some time ago.

    And yet -- and yet, perhaps deep down I quite like just knowing that some of that stuff is still around.