I make pancakes.
I make it to two parties and
AGAIN...manage to put dinner on the table, this time with fresh fruit! (Happy jig here)
After feeling overwhelmed, I work on my resume for 45 minutes with my mom, I am high on the potential.
I am so pleased with myself, like a toddler learning to walk. Get up wobble, step, wobble step and then ta da!! I'm at the wall or table.
And Ezra says to me "Mom, I miss Daddy. If Daddy hadn't died, you wouldn't be thinking about moving and we wouldn't be having so many babysitter to go out, what seems like every night." And he weeps. I know I will see him later in my bed, too, seeking reassurance by lying next to me.
And I say "I know.. It's hard. This is all new to you and to me."
But Ezra, I think to myself, "Change is exciting and exhilarating!"
I am the butterfly in the cocoon. Soon it will be time to try out my new wings, and I promise you kiddo, I will fly and you will see.
Out of death comes life.