His death certificates arrived today. I slumped against the wall for 17 mintues and cried like the world was ending. In that 17 minutes it was ending.
I hate these physical representations of his death.
Grieving Tip of the Millennium
(cause that’s how long a day can feel to the person who’s grieving)
Call weekly and ask
“What is the one errand you are afraid to ask someone to run?” or “Can I buy you some cold medicine, deodorant, or tampons (if applicable)?”
Remember the person is in grief and may not be able to answer you right then, so call again in a few days. Keep reminding them you’re around. The more specific the “thing” is you are willing to do the more likely you are to get called.
Running errands can be tricky because it involves money. And money is one of those ‘issue” topics. Don’t assume that you will reimbursed. Make sure to clear up how it will be handled before you run an errand. This can be a MAJOR stress point for the griever, exactly what you DON’T want to do.
Statements like “I’m happy to run an errand under $50 dollars for you.” Or “I can’t really afford anything over ___. Could you reimburse me for anything above that?” are really helpful. Your honesty around this issue is CRUCIAL to relieving the griever's stress. It’s not about you, it’s about helping them.