Wednesday, August 19, 2009

August 19, 2009 No Words and Sex

My silence has been about not finding the right words to express the trip to Maine. Nothing fits.

I can only share that I have a family. They don't look anything like me. They are tall and white and live in Maine. And when I arrived in my LA-ness chocolate-colored skin they pulled the wagons round claiming me. I don't know if it's always been the case and I didn't notice or if without Art by my side they decided to make a stand. Either way...I have family in Maine. And I no longer refer to them as his family. They are my family.

Because none of the words I set down on paper to describe my trip to Maine, I share photos.


I can't upload the @()#$$(*@ after being on the phone with Verizon @($)#* twice today after my internet was on the brink for @()#@*(# days!

And what I really need to do is honestly....have good sex.


I just need to get laid. Not f-----but properly laid. Are there any patient men out there who will take more than two minutes for 4-play? (Art took forever and it drove me crazy!)

Since my husband is dead and I can't think of man who is not married that I should bestow my post-death virginal experience on I will have to take my frustration out on this damn computer and website that can't seem to up load three stupid @*(#$@*# pictures.

And its not working! And I'm even more mad cause when you're a widow, no one talks about the lack of sex. My marriage had sex (although not enough) and it was good and pleasant and I miss it and need it and want it.

A widow (ha or a woman) who wants sex is like the persons yelling "F---!" in the public library. Everyone looks up, stares, giggles a bit and hopes you don't come near them.

And I think good widows don't want sex, bad widows do. Well put this behind (which, by the way, is a nice, round, sexy behind!) in with the bad crew. I am a full on woman, damn it and sex is good.



  1. Kim,
    I value you so much for the air-intaking breadth of your honesty.
    My 30-something-yrs-old niece Robyn endears herself to me repeatedly for her willingness to say the most outrageous thing required to make a tradition-shattering joke.

    I never think you're trying to push any boundaries - except those that are self-imposed -
    yet you repeatedly surprise/shock us all with your unflinching willingness to go wherever you "are" at the moment, and share it with whoever's out here reading it all.

    Going without that rich, warm, deep deep embracing enveloping that is great good true sex clearly must be one more thing we regret you dealing with.

    To say I wish I could help sounds lame (or, worse, unfaithful), since I'm just one more of your married male friends.
    Nonetheless, it's true.
    Here's a hug, at least, anyway....

  2. Hi Kim,

    You have a gift with words, and I admire your honesty. I live here in CA, very close to LA and wondered if you would like to meet? You can reach me at or on our blog I would love to connect.

    In hope,


  3. Anonymous6:17 PM


    I lost my husband to cancer 2 years ago. You address something no one ever thinks about or talks about. SEX. Especially when you have a healthy sexual relationship with your husband. Now any sexual outlet is gone. No one thinks widows miss it. I've been starving for the last 2 years without it. I can smell male hormones if I'm within 10 feet of a guy and it drives me crazy! Where are those men that are supposed to comfort the poor widow? What about just some strong male arms wrapped around you? In my husbands arms everything disappeared, it was sanctuary. however those days are gone...