I love men.
I love their athletic arms and their athletic legs.
I love the way they smile when they like me, when they look at me.
I like how I see their wheels turning, those sexual creatures. I like how I know how to stand with my butt just a little bit out so they can get a better look. I like how for some of them, it makes their day.
I like the power I have, how they get goofy when I smile at them, say hi or heaven forbid, stop to talk for a moment.
I love the way their hand touches, attentively, the small of my back, as they usher me through a door of a restaurant, to a car, out of some kind of "danger."
I like kissing them too.
Yes, I said THEM.
I like how their breath feels on my face. Or the roughness of their fingers as they stroke my face.
I like their deep voices. Their assured walks.
And I like myself with them. I like how I, at 45, feel confident knowing:
this is the body they can get, flabby belly, cellulite butt, small breasts....a good body, a body I know how to work, a body that knows how to teach them how to work it.
this is the loud laugh they can have,
this is the smart, quick business brain they can learn from,
this is the opinionated, thoughtful, idea generator that can help them,
this is a "good catch" that includes my kids!
I love how my priorities are clear...
my kids, my work, myself and my girlfriends and then....them.
I like that I am Kim Hamer, widow, mother, and no, not your lover.....yet. I like how I don't think about Art but all of this is because of him.
I like how Art's love for me oozes out and I am morphing into everything he thought I was, confident, kind, brilliant, spiritual and well worth waiting for every clock in the world to strike 12 noon.
I also really, really like that,
for now,
I don't have to worry if they don't put the toilet seat down.
Oh yes, yes, yes.
ReplyDeleteThis gives me such hope. I want to feel that power, that confidence and hearing that you have found and own it gives me hope.
Now break out some of the stories, I want details please!
Flying, flying - now I can fly, like Wendy in Peter Pan - as I always knew you would and could. What I didn't know - couldn't know - was how or when. May you always have air beneath your wings.
ReplyDeleteLove, Mom
What a beautiful writer you are. Don't worry about your children - when they see you flying, they will not be far behind. Your laughter and your joyful smile are your greatest gift to them right now.
ReplyDelete