"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." Alcoholic Anonymous
I am beginning to realize, understand, accept that our life as "normal" has changed. I need to use all the help I can to get through this. The American way of independance, of toughness is too hard and...lonely and isolating. Kids are covered, meals are WAY covered. I am starting to think about other plans. I need to work again. I need someone to be here, with us, at night while Art is dealing with the worst of the chemo. I need help with the kids in the morning for I am not the mother that Good Housekeeping thinks we all are. It's strange to use the word need, instead of want. But these are truly needs and I am finding the serenity to accept them. My ego is shrinking...I am ready to call Uncle.
Pallas lost a tooth today and the tooth fairy forgot to visit. Even the friggin' tooth fairy is a casualty of Art's cancer.
Thoughts on today
He is back. Art, my partner-in-life, my husband was back today! He was clear, strong and funny. He made himself his own snack even AND helped with the kids this evening. I have not seen this man. He disappeared on Tuesday, August 29th when I took him to the ER.
We had such a wonderful day. Many friends dropped in for a visit. We spent time hangin' with Art's sister and her husband. We talked and planned and joked. It's so good to have him back. I don't care that he will leave again, into the chemo induced fog. It was so pleasing to have him here and present today. We'll be OK. We will be OK.