Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Acceptance

Thoughts from last night

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change." Alcoholic Anonymous

I am beginning to realize, understand, accept that our life as "normal" has changed. I need to use all the help I can to get through this. The American way of independance, of toughness is too hard and...lonely and isolating. Kids are covered, meals are WAY covered. I am starting to think about other plans. I need to work again. I need someone to be here, with us, at night while Art is dealing with the worst of the chemo. I need help with the kids in the morning for I am not the mother that Good Housekeeping thinks we all are. It's strange to use the word need, instead of want. But these are truly needs and I am finding the serenity to accept them. My ego is shrinking...I am ready to call Uncle.

Pallas lost a tooth today and the tooth fairy forgot to visit. Even the friggin' tooth fairy is a casualty of Art's cancer.

Thoughts on today
He is back. Art, my partner-in-life, my husband was back today! He was clear, strong and funny. He made himself his own snack even AND helped with the kids this evening. I have not seen this man. He disappeared on Tuesday, August 29th when I took him to the ER.

We had such a wonderful day. Many friends dropped in for a visit. We spent time hangin' with Art's sister and her husband. We talked and planned and joked. It's so good to have him back. I don't care that he will leave again, into the chemo induced fog. It was so pleasing to have him here and present today. We'll be OK. We will be OK.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:06 AM

    All us Keyes' thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Much Love,

    Anne Keyes

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  2. Schuyler10:22 AM

    Yeah! It's such a blessing to have the good days to help offset the bad and remind you of what you are fighting for. Continued love and strength to you all.

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  3. Anonymous12:46 PM

    Hi Guys. Just got word. Count on me as a prayer warrior, a ferocious prayer warrior. Hil's brother is a survivor...it wasn't easy, tough for everybody (I'm telling you?) but the fight has left him above and beyond where he'd been. So much love to you all. I'm trying to get to LA mid Oct. and would love to see you. Arthur, if it's an incentive to regain your appetite, I'm buying at the Apple Pan on West Pico. I'll keep you posted as plans solidify.

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  4. Anonymous12:46 PM

    Crud. I forgot to sign it. It's Chuck.

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  5. Anonymous1:38 PM

    Kim-your diary is a moving testimony to the vitality and hope of the human spirit. I was incredibly saddened to hear about Art's illness and feel helpless to help although my desire to do so is boundless. Art's presence looms large here and always will. If there is anything I or any of us here can do, please, please say so. Prayerfully, Larry Miller

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  6. Anonymous7:05 PM

    Kim, you and Art are really in my thoughts, especially today as I am visiting Art's old stomping grounds at Colby. Hang in there, be strong, and in the words of Bob Marley, "Don't give up the fight." We miss you both! Molly

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  7. Hi Kim, Hi Art, Hi kids!

    We just learned about Art's illness yesterday from an e-mail sent by Renee.
    May God grant you the courage...
    We (the faculty) want to help. Please let me know what you need; what is in the works with Windward. Our Director used to work at Windward; we would like to coordinate some how. WE can add to, or support any of their efforts.

    i'll write more later

    ginnae stamanis

    ReplyDelete