Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Day 12

Weird news. The oncologist, who had the weekend off, told us that pathology has NOT gotten the results yet regarding what kind of testicular cancer Art has. It's very different from what the on-call oncologist told us this weekend. I don't know if we miss heard or he just kind of skirted the truth. I am aware however, that I am not thinking clearly, so it's anyone's guess.

No matter for now. Day three of chemo is about to end. Art is tired today. Effects of chemo, stress, left over operation? Mostly likely a bit of everything. I do know that starting Art on Sunday reversed his steady march towards death. Such a strange word to write in relationship to Art. This stupid germ cell multiples at the rate of an embryo....doubles every week. Even after surgery, the cells in his lungs were merrily growing along.

They took him for an x-ray at 7:15 this morning and both the pulmonogist and the radiologist think the tumors have shrunk! Art still stuggles a bit for breath, not enough to need oxygen but noticable enough in his conversations. We walked a lap around our floor and that was enough for him. Can't believe this is the same body that bicycles 20 miles AT 22 miles an hour!

I am no longer worried about whether or not he will beat this. My concern is now about our daily lives when we return home. How much help will I need? Who should we ask to stay with us? Who CAN stay with us? How long will I need someone to pick up my kids for school? When do I need the kids picked up, dropped off and fed? When will I find time to come up with a grocery list? It's funny in our normal life we didn't think about all that we do and now it looms large in my eyes.

I am exhausted...

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